Filed under: cancer, Gratitude, Inspiration, Love, Skydiving | Tags: Belief system, Cancer, Gratitude, Inspiration, Love, Skydiving, Wiener Friendly Soap
I believe cancer is related to anger and resentment, but anger is usually preceded by fear. I thought if I faced my 2 biggest fears, heights and flying, I could figure out why the “terminal” cancer hadn’t killed me after 3 years. 3 days after my first tandem jump, a tumor on my leg came out and stuck to the bandage. I decided I had to jump by myself, and make the decision to get out of the plane. My 3rd jump resulted in an L-1 burst fracture. I was told I would never walk again. I’m rebellious! The picture is me on my 38th jump, with my son Cameron making his first jump on his 18th birthday, 11 years after my expiration date. I’m driving a 95 Toyota 4-Runner with over 200,000 miles on it. I bought it before Cameron was born. We’ve transported kayaks, dogs, bikes, hiking and camping gear and who knows what else. It’s been a great car, until a couple years ago, but also, at about 10 miles to the gallon and part time wages, we need a more reliable vehicle.
People think I can use the invisible jet plane, but I can’t find it. (I really AM Wonder Woman!)
It would be really cool if there were a 190 parachute with “After The Expiration Date” across the canopy, in the back of the new car.
Love, gratitude and blessings,
Filed under: alternative treatments, bodybuilding, cancer, Gratitude, health, Hyperthermia, nutrition | Tags: Belief system, Cancer, Gratitude, Insulin Potentiation Therapy, T-Mobile
911, What are you reporting?
I’m having a medical problem.
As many of you know, I went to Mexico for cancer treatments in March. I was at a clinic in downtown Tijuana, receiving the same treatments I’ve had there since 2006. I had only planned on going for a week, but on March 28, I found out I’d be able to stay for 2 more weeks of treatments. I knew I needed 3 or more weeks. I was so excited! On Sunday, 03/29, the clinic driver took me across the border to go to get organic food and the supplements I would need for the next 2 weeks and get money from Western Union. While we were in San Diego, I also asked him to stop by T-Mobile so I could get a sim card to be able to text and if I needed to, call my family. My pre-paid phone wouldn’t work at all in Mexico. We were told the store was a couple blocks away, more like a couple miles, but made it to the Broadway store in Chula Vista, 3 minutes before they closed. They already had the doors locked and told me they were closed. I showed them the time on my T-Mobile phone and told them they were still open. They did open the door and sold me the sim card. They were very quiet, obviously mad that they had to stay a few minutes later to help me. Hoping they’d feel a little compassion, I expressed my gratitude, telling them I was a cancer patient and wanted to be in contact with my family. I called Bert from the store and my phone worked. We went to several Western Union locations, but they were all closed. I didn’t have the money I went for, but had a working phone and the foods that would make me happy. We went back to Tijuana. Once we got back across the border, my phone showed “NO SERVICE”.
I turned it off. I waited. I turned it on again. It still didn’t work. I went through the off/on process several times. Nothing. Once back at my apartment, I tried the wi-fi. It worked, but still no service on the phone. I was able to use Viber, but no texting without wi-fi. Every night, I walked to the beach by myself. I felt like it was important to have a working phone in case I had a problem and needed to call for help.
On Tuesday, March 31, a friend said he would go with me across the border if I came back to the apartment first to get him. I thought it would take too long and I wanted to get back before dark, so I asked to be dropped off at the border to walk across by myself. I needed to go to Western Union for cash and to T-Mobile to get a new sim card or figure out why my phone wasn’t working. My friend didn’t think I should go because I had insulin potentiation therapy earlier that day.
Insulin Potentiation Therapy. I’ve been told – and believe – that cancer doesn’t like heat, but does like sugar. Many people have one treatment at a time, I request the multitasking plan. My last 3 trips to Mexico, they put me in a full body hyperthermia unit to sweat. My head is out, but the rest of my body is inside. They have a blood pressure and oxygen saturation monitor on me and an iv dripping. If I need water, the nurse would hold the cup to allow me to drink thru a straw. I’ve always taken my hiking hydration pack and hung it from the iv pole, but forgot it this time. Another patient farted while she was in there. She said it was about halfway through, but it lingered. When the nurse opened up the chamber, the smell nearly knocked her back. She started fanning her hand, saying there must be something wrong with one of the bulbs. We laughed hysterically when she came back to the group room and told us about almost “killing” the nurse. Anyway… after about 45 minutes, the nurse would check my blood sugar. She would then put whatever amount would bring my blood sugar down to about 50 in 20 minutes. It was usually 4 units, but I learned on days I was anxious or scared for whatever reason, my blood sugar was higher and we needed to use more. That day my blood sugar was higher and I needed 6 units. Cancer cells have between 10 and 100 times the amount of insulin receptor sites as healthy cells. Introducing insulin, “eats” the sugar out of the blood, starving the cancer cells. When they’re good and hungry, we feed them by adding sugar…but…we poison it. Once my blood sugar was around 50, she would inject either 1/10 of a dose of chemotherapy or laeatrile in a glucose solution. In 2006, 2007, 2009 and 2010, we used different chemotherapy drugs. I’ve had 5FU, dacarbazine, carboplatin and one more I’m not remembering. My second week in 2010, we switched to laeatrile and used it again this time. Shortly after the sugar starts dripping in, the treatment is over.
This is a video from 2010…
The amount of glucose will only bring the blood sugar up for a short time. It is important to eat shortly after so the blood sugar will stabilize. I drank a green drink and a few raw eggs, then took a shower and returned to my other treatments.
I was frustrated that my phone still didn’t work. My friend told me 3 times he didn’t think I should go, but I insisted! He dropped me off close to the border around 4pm. My friend at the apartment had told me to go to the disabled line and just keep walking to the front of the line. I must have passed 300 people standing in the other line. I knew if I stood in line I’d have a problem, but thought I could make it if I kept walking. After walking for what seemed like a mile, I made it to the United States crossing. The officer asked me what I had been doing in Mexico. I guess the bandage on my chest with the iv catheter sticking out made my cancer patient story enough. He sent me through. I had been told to take a cab at the first stop light. Right. Me. Take. a. cab. I don’t think so. I was fully capable of walking, so I did. I got to Western Union and waited in line. They didn’t have the amount of money I was there to get. She told me where the next closest location was. I asked about T-Mobile. She said it was walking distance, on the other side of I-5. I walked to the next Western Union, got my money, and confirmed with the clerk where the T-Mobile store was.
Walking distance. In case you didn’t know, it’s relative to the individual defining it. I hiked to the top of Mailbox Peak earlier in the month, during a miscarriage (I know, another story I haven’t told you.) I started walking. If she said walking distance, I could do it! As I turned to walk across the bridge over I-5, I realized my blood sugar was dropping. I had an oil and water drink with me, but that wasn’t going to raise my blood sugar, only potentially stabilize it from dropping more. I drank about 4 ounces. I got my phone out. It still said NO SERVICE. I knew I had to get somewhere I could get help. I kept walking to the T-Mobile store. Traffic going toward Mexico was heavy. Crossing the street, in the crosswalk with a walk signal, was like a game of Frogger. I noticed a Guitar Center. One of the patients was looking for a guitar. I knew my blood sugar was dropping, so I would just tell him about it instead of going in to see their selection. I kept walking.
I made it to the T-Mobile Store. I pulled out my phone. I had 3 bars. The guy with the clipboard asked for my name and how he could help me. I gave him my name and phone number, then said “I’m having a medical problem. I need you to write down another phone number and call it if I pass out.” He just looked at me. I could feel my strength fading. I raised my voice and told him “Bert. Write it down, PLEASE!” He kept looking at me, not writing. I started saying Bert’s phone number and he wrote it down. I was sweating and breathing heavy, not from the walk, but the low blood sugar and the increasing anxiety that I was about to pass out. There were about 20 people in the store, waiting their turns. All of the benches were being sat on. I called Bert. (He recognizes when my blood sugar is low, sometimes before I do. 2 years ago, he saw me, minutes before I was going to skydive and told me he was taking me to get something to eat. I thought he was overreacting, but I passed out as soon as we got to the car.) I walked to the front corner of the store and sat down on the floor. I told him what was happening and where I was at. He was irritated that I called him, in Seattle, or wherever he was, instead of calling someone close by. I knew things were getting worse. I told him I needed to call 911 and I would call him back. I yelled to the employee with the clipboard. “I need the address here!” He looked at me, but didn’t respond. I yelled louder “I’m calling 911! Please someone give me the address!” He walked over and handed me a business card. I don’t know if people thought I was mad, crazy, or any variation, but I felt like I was invisible. Nobody seemed to want to be bothered. All the employees kept helping customers. The customers waiting continued sitting, standing, milling around the store.
911, What are you reporting?
“I’m having a medical problem. I’m at the T-Mobile store at 4310 Camino de la Plaza suite D in San Ysidro.”
He asked me what was happening. I told him “I’m a cancer patient, I had an insulin treatment today and my blood sugar is crashing.” His calm voice announced he was California Highway Patrol when the fire dispatcher answered the phone. She asked me what kind of emergency I was having. I thought I was being clear, but she couldn’t understand me. I repeated myself. She asked me again. I said “Blood sugar, t-mobile, ani/ali”. (Ani/Ali is the tool the 911 center I worked at used to determine location. I don’t know if it’s a universal term.) The CHP guy was still on the line and told her what I was trying to say. While I was still on the phone with them, a T-Mobile employee walked over and told me Bert was on their phone and I needed to get up and come talk to him. It’s a good thing I could speak clearly and didn’t have the energy to, because what I would’ve said would not have been nice. As soon as I was done with the 911 call, a woman on the bench 3 feet away, asked me if she could get me something from 7-11. She saw the gratitude on my face. I asked her for orange juice. She understood me and said she’d be right back. She was a beautiful woman, wearing a batman shirt. As soon as she left, I heard the sirens. I called Bert back. It seemed like only 2 or 3 minutes before the corner of the store was filled with a gurney and a lot of firemen, probably 8, but I have no idea how many there were. Bert asked to talk to them, so I handed one of them my phone. He later told me he was explaining what was going on with me, since I wasn’t making a lot of sense. The main paramedic got down on one knee to talk to me. He was beautiful! I imagined a proposal, if only I were 10…or 20 years younger. His arm was a a canvas of multi colored tattoos. His muscles and vascularity on his arms were filling my head with wonders of the muscularity and tattoos on his chest. It was hard to answer questions, mainly because I thought I might be drooling. I wondered how developed his abs and my favorite part of the obliques and serratus muscles were. He poked my finger to check my blood sugar and snapped me out of my fantasy. It was in the 60’s, but higher than 62. He said they weren’t allowed to give me any glucose if it was over 62. They wanted to transport me to the hospital. I knew my insurance wasn’t valid in California. I didn’t want to go to a hospital with a catheter already in my chest. Trauma, accident, yes, I believe U.S. hospitals are probably the best in the world. Cancer treatment, no way! I didn’t want to be unconscious in a hospital where they do what they believe is in your best interest. 11 years after my first expiration date, I know their belief of my best interest and mine are VERY different! I suggested I drink the orange juice and see if I improved. They really wanted to transport me. I assured them I’d be fine if I just had the orange juice and ate food. One of the medics handed me the orange juice. I didn’t have the dexterity to open it. After several tries, I asked them to open it. We agreed they would give me a few minutes to digest the orange juice and if I could get up, they would not transport me. I drank the 15 oz bottle. While we were waiting, the muscular medic and one more my age, were asking me questions.
“Who’s at the store with you?” Nobody.
“Who’s in California with you?” Nobody.
“Who’s in Mexico with you?” Nobody.
“Who are you staying with?” Nobody. I’m in an apartment by myself.
“You came down here from Washington, and are having cancer treatments in Tijuana by yourself?” Yay! I was so excited! They were understanding me! I was still too weak to sound excited, but pulling out of it. I was trying to explain insulin potentiation therapy to them. They helped me get up on the bench, where the good looking 40 something medic filled out the paperwork with me.
He told me to leave the sticky things on because they would save my life. I had no idea what he was talking about until he pointed to my shoulder. I had to sign, saying I was refusing their medical advice to be transported and fill in some blanks. The others took the gurney back to the truck and waited outside. They assured me they’re close by if I needed to call again. They helped me up and left. I was still confused, but felt a lot better. I found the orange juice woman in the batman shirt and thanked her. I got money out, but she didn’t want it. I thanked her again and left the store. I looked around, wondering what I was going to eat. I had been on a ketogenic diet (under 30 grams of carbohydrates per day) for almost 3 years. I wanted to stay in ketosis. I only wanted to eat the way I’m used to eating. Bert called back while I was wandering around looking for something to eat. I had no idea how much time I had before it could happen again. I needed to eat soon. He knew I needed to eat soon. Burger King, Jack in the Box and Subway were the only options I saw. I was crying, telling him I didn’t want any of those things, but knew I had to eat. I opted for Subway. He was still on the phone when I ordered. I told the guy it didn’t matter what bread because I wasn’t going to eat it. Bert ordered me to get the bread and eat the entire sub. Thinking clearly and low blood sugar don’t happen together. I continued to have tears stream down my face, attempting to hide that I was crying from him. I didn’t want him to be as scared as I was. He needed to get off the phone, so I sat down and started eating the sandwich. It didn’t taste bad, but I hadn’t had bread of any kind in over 3 years. I was concerned about how my stomach would react, but I knew I had to eat to stabilize my blood sugar. I was scared. I wanted to talk to someone. I didn’t want to worry my mom, or Cameron, so I called Derek. In 2008, he lived with us. We knew we would never be in a “relationship”, but were close and are still very grateful for each other. I felt safe crying to him. His voice was comforting. We were only on the phone for a few minutes. I only ate half the sub and went back to the T-Mobile store.
They recognized me and got someone to help me instead of putting me at the bottom of the list. The woman who was assigned to me couldn’t figure out why my phone wasn’t working right. She called someone. She called someone else who told her we had to do a factory reset on my phone. I had medical information on it, the addresses of the clinic, my apartment, and all my pictures I look at to comfort myself when I’m stressed out. They assured me it would be saved in the icloud, whatever the hell that is, but I still said no. They offered me a different phone to borrow, then said they didn’t have one. I explained how far I had to walk and needed my phone to work in case I had another problem. Somehow, she figured it out. I was in the store until after 7:30. It was dark, but my phone worked. I promised Bert I would take a cab.
I asked a border patrol agent coming out of Subway, who told me to take a bicycle cab. I did. I ate more of the sandwich during transport. I think it was less than a mile. I walked to the Mexico side and through the border crossing. I was tired and scared, but actually felt safe, walking in Tijuana. My guardian angels were with me!
I made it safely back to my apartment. My phone worked. I texted Bert. I realized when I went to the bathroom to take a shower, the sticky things were on both shoulders and both legs. They must have been what protected me!
Love, gratitude and blessings
Filed under: Uncategorized
I called 911 tonight and asked for the officer to meet me at the roundabout right in front of the lighthouse. A few minutes after I took this picture, a patrol car turned into the Lighthouse park…toward the other roundabout. Unnecessary, because there’s only one way out, we ran after him. About halfway, I realized neither my knees nor my back hurt. I was running! Thank you Lourene Bevaart and Ed Wiens for following up with ASEA! I’m drinking it daily. I feel better! I look better! My eyes are clear and my skin looks great! I don’t know how else I’m benefitting, but I am so grateful for it all! If you’d like to know more, see my ASEA page
Love, gratitude and blessings!
Filed under: cancer, coaching, Love | Tags: Cancer, Choices, Empower, Encouragement, Gratitude, Hope, Inspiration, Love, Perspective
This morning, an old friend called while I was in the shower. Multiple times. When we did connect, I asked, in a more excited voice than most, “Hey! How are you?”
He started to respond “Ohhhhhh man,” It sounded like I was going to get a lot of complaining, then something shifted “No! Wait. I AM SO much better, now that I’m hearing your voice. Is there anyone on the planet who wouldn’t say that?”
I can think of many people who would disagree with that. Him included…many years ago. (Grammar police – is ‘him’ correct? It doesn’t sound right.)
I’m pretty sure the biggest tumor took the filter out of my mouth as it died. It’s been gone for many years, and if I were to guess, probably as far back as 2004 when things were at their worst. There are times I’m able to consciously not swear during a conversation with someone I doubt knows those words, but it’s not easy! I usually say what I’m thinking, while I’m thinking it.
I know people don’t want to be called out on their shit, but not being held accountable doesn’t help anyone, does it? When I do that, they’re not always receptive, but I hope they think about it later and correct whatever it was they wanted to be held accountable for to begin with.
It was a blessing to hear that I still affect him in a positive way after all of our past stuff.
Now I’m asking you. How are you?
I was listening to a talk yesterday. They said that whenever we feel discomfort, it’s because we aren’t living the life we have already grown into. We’ve developed our gifts, but aren’t sharing them with the world the way we could. What are you withholding from this amazing world? Share your gifts from your heart. Try it! See how the discomfort melts away…
Love, gratitude and blessings
Filed under: Uncategorized
I apparently needed to tell you about a meditation a few nights ago and ask your opinions.
It was a guided, group meditation. The energy in the room was calm. I think I was calm. Shortly after the meditation started, someone started coughing and clearing their throat. Within a few seconds, I did the same things. I immediately thought, “Oh shit, I’m taking on whatever that is! Shield up!” I was able to relax again and focus on the meditation. I didn’t check the clock, but at the end, it seemed to have been about 30 or 40 minutes.
The important details…
We were walking in a beautiful, wildflower meadow. It was supposed to be peaceful, My body jerked as I was stung by nettles in the field. I don’t know if I continued to flinch, because the rest of my body stayed still as I slapped at my legs (in my head.)
Next, there was a chimney off in the distance. We continued walking toward it. I’m guessing as we approached it, the other people in the room saw a small house with a warm inviting fire in the fireplace. I saw a wicked witch who had Hansel and Gretel locked up, preparing to throw them in the oven. As we walked past the small house, there was a well. Not like a wishing well, but a 6 foot open hole, with steps leading down into the well. As we started down the steps, I was in the movie Goonies. The people in the room were no longer who they were when I closed my eyes, but all the kids in Goonies. We heard a stream trickling down the walls into the water below. As we got further down the steps, we found our treasures. We were to pick up a stone from the floor. I wanted to find all the gold coins they found in Goonies too! Once we had our stones, we slowly walked back up to the outside world.
After the meditation, we went around the room to share our experiences. I was the only one who was stung by nettles, thought an evil witch was going to kill children and got to be in the well with the teenage kids from Goonies. And…The stone I picked up was a 16 carat Alexandrite. Wow! It was stunning! The most beautiful stone I had ever seen!
Any ideas? Why did I have so many crazy details, when it seemed everyone else didn’t? Thank you!
Love, gratitude and blessings!
Filed under: Uncategorized
I know, you’ve been wondering how Mexico went. Once again, I waited until way past my bedtime to start writing. As you may already know, I’ve been to several clinics in Mexico since 2006.
I probably should’ve gone back sooner, but I didn’t. As my friend Dee would say, “It is what it is.” I had a lump on the back of my head, one at the base of my neck, one in my left armpit and one on the bottom of my left foot. Oh, and how could I forget the thing on my face.
I met so many wonderful people! The staff treated me like family. The locals who weren’t afraid of me, also treated me like family! There were times I was scared for myself or scared for other patients, but I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. So many details to tell you about…another time.
I am SO blessed to have had this experience! I am thankful for everything about my trip and everyone who contributed in getting me there! I WILL elaborate on the photos, just not tonight.
I love you all!
Love, gratitude and blessings