Susan WonderStone's Blog


All inclusive “resort”
August 24, 2009, 10:15 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I bought my plane tickets to southern California today.  Someone will meet me at the San Diego Airport and drive me across the border into Mexico.  The hospital I’ve gone to in the past for cancer treatment has been shut down.  I’ve never been to the new place.  There are actually 3, but I’ve mainly stayed in contact with the one I’m going to.    Insurance doesn’t cover any of it.  I’m mainly going for what we call a full tune up.  More later on the treatments I’ll have.   Remembering how terrified I was the first time I went gives me a lump in my throat, but thoughts of the friends I’ve made, both staff and other patients, makes me smile!

My thoughts and prayers to Suzanne and Juanita who have both chosen traditional treatments and are both scheduled for double mastectomies.    And to Amanda who was told “nothing could be done for her”.  Whatever…If I had listened to the statistics I would have died in 2004.

Love, gratitude and blessings

Susan



Sometimes I don’t wanna be so strong
August 18, 2009, 10:17 pm
Filed under: cancer, health, Inspiration, Uncategorized

A little over a month ago, 070709, I woke up to a very swollen arm.  I couldn’t bend it enough to eat with my right arm, and couldn’t straighten it out either.  I went to the doctor at the urging of my co-workers.  He had no idea what was wrong, and $40 later, told me I would have to see a hand specialist.  It was my upper arm, not my hand, so I didn’t make the appointment.  Aside from that, 2 hours in the hyperbaric chamber seemed to correct most of the problem.  Cameron asked me a couple days ago why I’ve been taking so many naps lately.  I hadn’t noticed, but realized he was right.  I’ve been doing my liver cleansing, eating more fruit than I probably should, but overall taking good care of myself.  I searched my skin, looking for anything unusual I hadn’t noticed before.  I sat on the bathroom counter with the hand mirror, looking at my back.  I put my foot on the counter, re-positioned the mirror and looked at parts I had forgotten what they looked like.  Switching feet, realized certain things aren’t exactly symmetrical, but that’s a different story!   I finally saw a bump on the back of my arm.  The same arm as before.  It’s been itching a lot lately, but hadn’t thought about what might be causing the itching.  The spot looked like most of the spots in the past.  A weird shaped, multi colored mole.  $*@%!!  I thought I was done with it.  I got out the black salve and put smaller than a pea sized amount on the spot.  Before I could cover it with a bandage, it started tingling.  If you’ve read about black salve, if there isn’t a problem, nothing happens.  It doesn’t usually react as fast as it did.  I’m hoping it will run it’s course quicker than the 2 week average from before.

Maybe because it hurts.  Maybe because I’m tired.  Maybe because I want sugar and I’m not eating it.  Maybe I just want to be held…. I just want to curl up and cry.  So many people think I’m so strong, and most of the time I am.  They don’t see me during times like this.

Love, gratitude and blessings

Susan