Susan WonderStone's Blog


Life is fair
February 9, 2011, 5:34 pm
Filed under: cancer, Inspiration

It’s not fair!! Several years ago, I had a friend who’s husband was going through traditional cancer treatment of chemo and radiation. I don’t know if he had surgery too, our conversation didn’t go far enough. I don’t know if he’s still alive or not. I’m guessing he is and that his treatment worked for him. As you may know, I opted out of chemo and radiation when I learned that 99.6% of the people who did it (for recurrent metastatic melanoma) were dead within a year anyway. I chose to use nutrition and alternative treatments to “fight my battle”. As a result, as I’ve been dealing with “terminal” cancer, I continue to look and be healthier and healthier. Most of my friends faded out of my life as I researched, took action and continued to improve. I saw my friend who knew what I was dealing with, but hadn’t seen me for a long time. She immediately said “It’s not fair!!” I asked “what’s not fair?” She said “It’s not fair that you aren’t miserable and haven’t lost your hair, like my husband.” That was the end of the conversation. She stormed off. I was upset at first. Why did she want me to be miserable? Why would she want me to lose my hair? I can only assume since I’ve never talked to her since, that it was more that she was upset about what was happening to him as opposed to wanting me to be on his path. I also realized that the other friends probably faded off for the same reasons, but didn’t say anything. We’ve all probably lost friends or family to cancer and wish they were still here. As I write, many other situations pop into my head. The countless moms who saw my decisions as a “guaranteed death sentence” telling me I was going to leave Cameron without a mom. One in particular who’s own mom shortly after was diagnosed with breast cancer, went through traditional treatments and died 2 years later. I see her around town. She continues -to this day, to turn her head, refusing to acknowledge I’m still here.

In general, whether it’s a new relationship, a great job, health, money, whatever, if people can’t see how they benefit, they don’t want us to be more successful than they are. The bonus is, we meet new people. I’ve gained friends who are more suited to me now than the ones I lost. I’m grateful for them all!

 

Love, gratitude and blessings

Susan Story



Another Breakthrough Experience
February 8, 2011, 2:30 am
Filed under: Inspiration

The first time I did Dr Demartini’s Breakthrough Experience was about 6 years ago. I did it again about a year later. About a month ago, I saw he was going to be in Dallas. I seriously thought about going, but didn’t see how I could get the time off work, to not only go to the seminar, but spend time with my family who lives there. I looked at the money involved and stopped trying to figure it out. Two weeks ago, I got another email. He was coming to Seattle. A friend, who was with me at one of the others I attended, asked me if I was interested in going to the 2 hour talk on the Thursday before. I was ready! I knew it had helped me a lot the other two times I went, even though I was really sick. I’m a different person now. This is my year. The cancer was stage IV for 7 years. When Keta died, I believe she took the remaining cancer with her. The most challenging years of my life, my last name was Stone. I changed it back to my maiden – Story- the first Monday of the year. Not that I’ll have less challenges, but it was time.

I thought I had forgotten his principles, and know I resonated with them more than anything else I had ever learned about personal growth. Only a few hours into day 1, I realized the things I thought I needed to change in my life are the things other people think I need to change. Sure there are things I want to be, do or have that I am not being, doing or have yet, but I fill my life being, doing and having things associated with my highest values. I’m still doing the things he taught me 6 years ago, I just didn’t remember it.

My first “Breakthrough” was the most eventful. Imagine having someone harass you in many ways, almost daily for many years. I was not only in victim mode, but often ready to give up and let the cancer take me down. Immediately after the weekend, it stopped. Not at any time since has this person harassed me the way he did. Sure there are little things, but nothing like it was.

I picked the person I had the highest charge on. The person that pissed me off the most when I thought or talked about them. The first thing I did was write down 5-10 traits I hate about the person. That was easy! Next I had to write down 5-10 traits I loved about them. That was hard! The next step was writing down the initials of the people who would say I had the traits I hated about my person. Huh? I’m not like that! I didn’t see it at first. When I was really honest with myself, I remembered situations when I had been those traits. I started realizing I had been to other people what he had been to me. It started to get depressing. Next was to see that I also possessed the traits I loved about him. That was easy. We are told in the metaphysical world that people are our mirrors. That’s cool when we’re looking at the parts we like, but not something we want to look at when it’s something we see as negative.

Not going into the whole process, I saw how the “bad” things he had done to me, were the things I had benefited from the most. And the things I loved about him had been nice, but not offered me much more than immediate -feel good- gratification. This in turn, helped me see how my behavior, either bad or good wasn’t necessarily “bad or good”. Everyone has every trait. Whether we see it as positive or negative is our own perspective. Even a rapist is focused, motivated and driven to get the job done.

At the end of the process, I 100% loved and appreciated him for everything he was and everything he had done – not to me, but for me. I still love and appreciate him.

I recognize now, that every crisis is also a blessing. I’m not quite to the “instantaneous recognition” stage yet, but closer than I ever was before. There will always be a balance of support and challenge, order and chaos, peace and war, nice and mean…

I haven’t yet written about this weekend, but sleep is high on my values list. Until we meet again,

 

Love, gratitude and blessings

Susan Story