Susan WonderStone's Blog


My mom’s cancer
February 28, 2016, 12:27 am
Filed under: Breast implant illness, cancer, health, Love | Tags: , , , , ,
12473608_10201220094302166_1161838544430849629_o-2

Gina, me, Cameron and Rayla on New Year’s Eve.

My son wrote an update for the GoFundMe page. He’s been through it all with me.

I don’t spend a whole lot of time talking about my mom’s cancer, mostly because things usually aren’t awful. Sure, she might be tired, she might be in pain, she might say ‘fuck’ a lot, but at the end of the day, she’s alive. And she usually has a smile on her face, even as she does 3+ hours of cancer treatment every day. Her will to live has been tested more than anyone I know. I think she’s pretty badass. In her pursuit of wellness, she is about to go through a surgery to remove two of the biggest hurdles to her goal: twenty two year old breast implants that are supposed to be replaced about ten years after implantation, and weren’t healthy to have in the first place. After treating cancer with alternatives for a couple years, we knew they weren’t healthy, but never had the money to do anything about it. We still don’t. But getting them out is more than ten years later than it should be and the longer we wait, the worse things might get. So now is the time. I know nobody else has any money either, but if you have something you can give, or know someone who does, we will take all the help we can get. Either way, remember that you could die tomorrow, so you should make sure to have fun today!  ~Cameron Dawson

Aside from GoFundMe, I have received other donations as well. The surgery is the first step and I’m so much closer! Thank you!

http://www.gofundme.com/susanstone



My Promise
February 27, 2016, 2:10 am
Filed under: anti-inflammatory

391006_2871988444828_1596346156_n

Dee Cernile and me at the clinic in Mexico March/ April 2010. We spent most of our waking hours together, every day for two weeks. We had serious talks, sharing our fears talks, making fun of cancer talks, making fun of ourselves talks and educational talks, both amongst ourselves, and with the staff and other patients. We were instant friends, partially because we were in the same position of being told our expiration date was near, yet so full of life…and…I don’t know, we just were. We didn’t appear on the surface, to have much in common. He was the guitarist for the Canadian hard rock band “Sven Gali”. I had never been to a hard rock concert. He had more tattoos than any man I had ever had a conversation with. My southern baptist upbringing did not support tattoos. I didn’t have any. Cancer taught me a lot.  I stopped judging books by their covers. I was open to Dee’s knowledge and opinions. We had movie nights. Dee would bring his computer to the dining room. We would watch cancer documentaries with the other patients after dinner, then spend time explaining what we had watched. Dee is the only cancer patient I’ve ever met, who had implemented as many alternative cancer treatments as I have.

Dee and I talked about having benefit concerts where he and I would speak at times during the concert. We would talk about taking responsibility for your own health, thru nutrition and a variety of ways to care for yourself. He had the band and other contacts in the music industry. I don’t.  “Dee…if you can still hear me, please allow the contacts I need to show up in my life so I can continue our mission.”

Dee lost his battle on Feb 25, 2012. It wasn’t until after he died, that I promised him I would continue to spread our message of health, wellness, nutrition and exercise. I’ve been talking to people one on one, on social media and in person, but it’s time to get myself in front of large stages, making a difference to every audience!

Please donate to my GoFundMe page to help with surgery and then more cancer treatments in Mexico.

http://www.gofundme.com/susanstone

Love, gratitude and blessings

~Susan



Full moon Prayers
February 23, 2016, 12:34 am
Filed under: Gratitude

There’s something special about the full moon.  On my first trip to the Hospital Santa Monica in Mexico, I was standing outside with Ruth – (lung cancer) and her daughter Emily. The moon was shining bright. We all loved the full moon! I told them “whenever you’re looking at the full moon, wherever you are in the world, remember that I’m looking at the same moon, so we really won’t be that far apart.”

image

Every time I see the full moon, I think of so many friends, family and acquaintances around the world , who look up and see the same full moon that I do. I pray collectively for all of you and pay special attention to those who need a little extra prayer. I am thankful for the roles you have all played in the movie of my life! Thank you for your donations for my surgery and follow up cancer treatments! If you would still like to donate or know someone who would, please go to www.GoFundMe.com/susanstone

Love, gratitude and blessings

~Susan

 



Skyline Ridge Snowshoe Adventure

The first thing I did when I got up yesterday was look at  www.nwac.us.  The entire Cascade mountain range, from Vancouver WA to Vancouver, BC was showing orange, meaning “considerable” avalanche danger.  Low, moderate, considerable, high and extreme. I was going with my hiking partner, Jack, so at least I’d be with someone.   We decided to go to Skyline Ridge, since 2 weeks ago, it was high avalanche danger and the people we talked to didn’t have any problems. Keeping in mind, just because someone else didn’t have any problems, doesn’t mean anything. Like normal, we got a late start. I don’t have the right gear for the weather, but I am great at improvising and find a way.

Normal people would have snow pants. I wore sweatpants with waterproof rain pants over them and waterproof gaiters to keep the snow out of my boots. Normal people would have a Gore-tex or similar waterproof coat. I wore 2 long sleeve, wicking layers with my non waterproof coat and a waterproof poncho over it. Normal people would have waterproof gloves. I had water resistant gloves and a second set of wool gloves I wore over them. The weather report said it was supposed to be 33F degrees and raining/snow mix. I’m not sure why that sounded okay, but yesterday was the day and when I make a decision, few things get in my way. We got lucky and the temperature was below freezing the entire day.

Jack is in much better shape than I am and does a lot of waiting around for me. I couldn’t ask for a better hiking/snowshoeing partner! He laughs and teases me a little when he turns around at the next switchback, only to see me stopped and panting, or taking baby steps. The route we chose was 1100 ft elevation gain. I hope snowshoeing is harder than hiking, because I don’t remember struggling on last summers hikes like I did yesterday.

By the time we got to the lake, it was 5:00pm. I had forgotten my headlamp, so we needed to turn around soon, to get back to the car before it got too dark. The snow was falling pretty hard. We couldn’t see any of the peaks the trail guide talks about, but still having my own peaks, decided to do my favorite pose for the photo. We did take a front shot, but my back is what I like to share. After my skydiving accident in 2007, my first goal was learning to walk again, my second goal was to get my back muscles back. The scar down the middle might always show up, but it reminds me how far I’ve come. The open lesion I had 2 weeks ago on the back of my neck/upper back is now a scar with the lump still protruding, making me wonder what it is and what I need to do about it. Jack warned me how cold it was going to be, but being stubborn, I decided to do it anyway. I put the poncho on the ground first, then took off all my layers above my waist (except for my hat, goggles and “Turtle Fur”.  My clothes were soaked with sweat and covered with snow before I could fold the poncho over them.  We tried to quickly take the pictures, but the camera didn’t like the freezing temperatures and kept pausing. It had only been 3 minutes when I was attempting to put my clothes back on. My body didn’t feel cold, but my hands did! Both hands were purple and numb. I was able to get all my clothes back on, but my fingers were so numb I couldn’t feel to put my gloves on. Jack helped me with both sets of gloves. He was snacking on trail mix, so since he’s faster than me, I left the lake to get my blood flowing again and head back down. I was too far ahead of him by the time I could feel my fingers again, so I took a few pictures and waited.

P1030077

Snowing at Skyline Lake

 

P1030071P1030070P1030089P1030085

P1030082

Skyline ridge trail across from Stevens Pass Ski area

P1030072

P1030080

The moon…but it didn’t show up in the picture

P1030073

Skyline Lake. I can’t wait to see it thawed out with blue skies!

Waking up today, it’s obvious that snowshoeing is a lot more strenuous than I thought. My feet, my knees, my leg muscles (all of them), my glutes, my back and my shoulders…are all sore.  So many of the stories I’ve read and the women I’ve talked to who’ve had their breast implants removed, talk about breathing better, muscle soreness and joint pain going away and so many other things! It makes me wonder how much of my pain is self inflicted vs from the breast implants or the cancer. Even though I love the way they look, I can’t wait to see how my life improves after my explant surgery! I drank a bottle of ASEA over the last several hours and will go to work soon. I am grateful for whatever it is inside me that allows me to push my limits and for ASEA to help me recover quickly!

I can’t wait until a blue sky day to go back and see the view!

Love, gratitude and blessings

~Susan

 



Show me your tits

 

There’s a song that says “My name’s blurry face and I care what you think.” I used to care more about what people think about me, but somewhere along the way, other people’s opinions of me became less of a priority. The more authentic, vulnerable, thought and feeling sharing Susan is happier than the cautious, walking on eggshell Susan.

I had a man ask me tonight why all of my topless mountain pictures are back double bicep poses instead of front shots. Men want to see tits. Without hesitation, I said “I’ve never felt like my breast implants are me. I love the way they look, but they’re not me. After breaking my back in 2007, I’m beyond thrilled that I got my muscle back. Seeing the scar, reminds me of what I’ve overcome. Who knows, maybe after the implants are removed, I’ll take front pictures too. Be yourself! Love yourself!

Someone you know will need the information I have. Please donate to help me get this much needed explant surgery and follow up cancer treatments. Thank you!

http://www.gofundme.com/susanstone

Love, gratitude and blessings!

~Susan

 



Choosing Life. Bye-bye Ta-Tas

What happened?  My mom has nice boobs. Yes, even at 80, they’re still nice and perkier than most 40 year old boobs. I don’t remember when my dad had surgery, but I do remember his keloid scars that looked like smiley faces where he had his boobs removed.  I was the only girl in the family, between two brothers. They teased me about not having boobs. Most of the time I didn’t care. The whole story will be in my book.  For now, I got breast implants 22 years ago. My doctor said to get them replaced if I were having any problems. He didn’t say what those problems might be. When I got divorced, I started a “savings” plan, so if I ever had problems, I’d have the money to get them removed and replaced with new ones. 10 years after I got them, the cancer spread to my liver and lymphatic system. August 2004, my doctor said I probably wouldn’t make it thru the summer. Having surgery was the last thing I cared to think about, but I didn’t know the relationship between breast implants. I would have had the removed immediately if I had known. The years went by, more and more skin lesions, messed up liver enzymes, joint pain, brain fog and general fatigue. None of those things equated to problems with my breast implants…or so I thought.

A friend called me to tell me her story of healing after having her breast implants removed. I have found several articles and since I’ve been posting them on Facebook, people have been private messaging me, telling me their breast implant horror stories. Why had my doctors failed to mention it? Having them removed could restore my health!

2 of my doctors recently told me to get my breast implants removed as soon as possible. Spending 3-5 hours of alternative treatments every day, showing up to work and other personal growth activities and workouts haven’t left as much time as I’ve needed to earn more money and not only re-fund my empty “boob fund”, but get back to Mexico for more treatments.

I believe they are the missing link! I am hopeful that having the breast implants removed and getting more treatments in Mexico will restore my health, allowing me to share my stories and empower others to love themselves and take responsibility for their beautiful lives!

Will you help by donating to my medical fund?

Choosing life. Bye bye Ta-tas!

P1030067

Thank you!

Love, gratitude and blessings!
~Susan

 



Snowshoeing Yay Day

P1030067

My plastic surgeon wants to make sure I’m healthy enough to undergo the surgery to have my implants removed. Hmmm…. What’s the definition of healthy enough?

I have an egg sized lump in my left breast. It’s not visible or palpable when I’m sitting or standing, but it seems to “fall out” of a pocket it’s living behind when I bend over. My family doctor sent me for an ultrasound in January 2013, but they couldn’t see anything. The technician and the radiologist and the doctor all felt it and could see it, but to the ultrasound, it didn’t exist. My plastic surgeon doesn’t think it’s related to the implant. She’s concerned it’s related to the cancer. A biopsy would put me at risk of breaking the implant, requiring removal anyway.

Nobody has wanted to be 100% healthy as much as I have! Ok, maybe somebody, but I’ve been on this path for so long!  Typing this from the bathroom floor as I have another Gerson coffee. Assuming the degrading of the implants are causing the problems, I think of all the things I’ll be able to do once they’re gone. I’m excited! The 3-5 hours a day I won’t be in the hyperbaric chamber, in the sauna, standing on the vibration machine, dry brushing, soaking in hydrogen peroxide spiked water, Magnesium foot baths, cooking tumors under the far infrared heat lamp, multiple hot/cold showers and yes, all of the coffee, supplement, mineral, oil, wheatgrass and garlic enemas… sure, I’ll continue to do those things, but not all of them, every day.

Yesterday, I paid the deposit for the surgery. Some decisions I KNOW are right.  I have NO idea where the rest will come from, but it felt right!  My friend Jack and I had planned our first snowshoe adventure. Making that payment, helped with other decisions to make sure the adventure went the direction I wanted it to.  You know, having fun, but living through it too!  I searched the avalanche website. It showed “High Avalanche Danger” the entire west side of the Cascades, from Canada to Oregon. We texted back and forth while I had coffee. We decided to go anyway and at least check it out. A 2 hour drive each direction is a big time commitment for me when I have so much to fit in every day. We stopped at the ranger station in Baring. The ranger told us not to go. He told us stories of people who went without avalanche beacons and were never found. Even with a beacon, there’s no guarantee you’ll survive long enough to be found alive. We continued on to Steven’s Pass.

The first group of snowshoers we found had just finished one of the High Avalanche Danger hikes. They hadn’t checked the website or asked anyone. Jack wanted to do it, but I have my eye on the prize of great health after the surgery and the risk of getting buried in an avalanche wasn’t in my plan. We went inside and asked the employees at Guest Services. They also told us not to go. Instead, they suggested we go another 5 miles to the Stevens Nordic center, where there are miles of snowshoe and cross-country trails. It’s in a relatively flat area and with so many trees, it is a low avalanche risk. It only took a few minutes to get the hang of the snowshoes.

Walking more on my toes uphill and digging my heels in on the hills down. The sunset happened before we wanted it to, but feeling safe, we stayed on the same trail. It started snowing. We had enough layers to stay warm…and the right layers to not be wet from sweat. We played in the snow on the ground and as it fell. My hat was encrusted with snow.

It was cold, but I couldn’t let anyone down. People expect my topless back photo on my hikes.  This was no exception!  Jack warned against it, because of the times I’ve gotten so cold I couldn’t stop shivering.

I believe getting the implants removed is the missing link to my health. My mental state is great! Even with the lump in my breast and the open lesion on the  back of my neck, I’m healthier and happier than most people I know. Life is good!  Very Good!!

P1030067

Gotta be topless on my hikes…for a minute. This was exceptionally cold! I’m hoping this will be the last one with bandages!

Love, gratitude and blessings

~Susan