Susan WonderStone's Blog


Loving Life!

I had my 3 month appointment with my plastic surgeon today. March 18, I had my almost 22 year old breast implants removed. I had no idea how big my pectoral muscles were until the implants were gone. At my pre-op appointment, she said my breasts were probably significantly bigger than before I got implants, because typically, women gain weight in their breasts in “middle age”. WTF? I’m going to live a healthy productive life until I’m at least 140 years old. I’m nowhere near middle age!  I told her I didn’t think they were bigger, but we would both find out after the surgery.

At today’s appointment, aside from my breasts, we discussed my pectoral muscles. It was hard to not flex when she was taking my “after” photos. She says they’re HUGE! They are big, but I haven’t dumbbell pressed 95 pound dumbbells since some time before I broke my back in 2007. I won a push up contest recently, but haven’t done chest presses at the gym for about a year. The ketogenic diet I’m on is supposed to maintain lean muscle mass, while also supplying needed nutrients. I am very happy with my new body!

She agreed with my statement that my breasts hadn’t grown in 22 years. “They are really small.”  I’m actually thankful they aren’t any bigger. Looking straight on in the mirror, it looks like I have some, but a side view, reveals my pecs are bigger than my boobs. There’s a big dent where my pecs end and before my breast tissue begins. She said the only way to “fix” the dent is to do a fat transfer. She also said she won’t do it because of the amount of cancer I’ve had. It’s all good. I’ve had women tell me they don’t want to explant because they’re afraid of what their boobs will look like after. I don’t care. I’m happy to be alive!

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What are you afraid of? What are you afraid to do?

How will you make your life the best story in the world?

I’m planning my next adventure. How wants to join me?

Love, gratitude and blessings

~Susan



Acceptable way to die

When my son was 7, he believed if I died from the cancer, that it was because I chose to. He believed that I had a choice to live or die. Because of his belief, I had a mission to not let that happen. How could I purposefully abandon him?

Now I know, most people don’t think that way, but what if it’s true? When I look at different ways people die, it seems cancer, heart disease, stroke and so many other health problems are a completely acceptable way to die. If a car accident is “someone else’s fault”, that’s an accepted way to die.

Going back to my son’s belief, dying from anything is no different than suicide.

How are you going to exit?

Yesterday, someone I’ve seen around, but had never talked to, died doing something he loved. I don’t believe it was intentional. Nor do I believe that it was stupid. I also don’t believe he was suicidal. I don’t know that we’ll ever understand why some people seem to live forever and some die so young. He was 30 years old and so full of life.

Three weeks ago, a 27 year old friend died, also doing what he loved. He had helped me on several occasions, but I didn’t know him very well. So many questions as to why?! Again, so full of life.

Today, as I spend hours doing alternative cancer treatments – enemas, sweating, oil pulling, dry brushing, full body vibration machine, earthing, prepping food, cleaning the open and swollen tumors, taking care of my organic garden and later, getting in the hyperbaric chamber, I think of these friends who died so young, full of life and healthy.

I can hear both of them saying “Shit, that wasn’t supposed to happen!”

Few people who’ve never been sick, see the utility in dying at the prime of life with no or few health challenges. It sucks that they were so young, but at the same time, I believe that being sick for months or even years and dying in a hospital bed would suck more!

Allowing others who’ve died to take part of my life source through depression won’t bring them back or help me or those around me at all. It’s my job to keep myself as healthy as possible and keep moving forward.

I will continue to do my daily treatments until I’ve been cancer free for a year. Regardless of how long it takes, I know I feel better than most people do. I am worth the time I put into myself!

What if we all take care of ourselves to the best of our abilities, take responsibility for every aspect of our lives, get outside and have as many adventures as we can?

Loving from a distance. It’s what we do when someone leaves our lives, no matter how they leave. We either continue living or can choose to go too. I’m choosing life!

Now to increase my income!

Love, gratitude and blessings

~Susan

 

 



Sun or Sunscreen

Yesterday at the Lake 22 trailhead, a group of people were slathering on so much sunscreen, they had a white sheen on their skin. They would be walking under ~100 foot trees for however long it would take them to walk 2.7 miles to the open lake. More than likely, long enough to no longer have sun blocking benefits, but plenty of time to absorb the endocrine disrupting and other toxic qualities of the chemicals in the sunscreen. We were waiting for a parking spot, so they had a head start on us. When we caught up with them, that filter most people have got lost and I said “Aren’t you glad you put on so much sunscreen?” They didn’t know I was being sarcastic until I told them I was. They genuinely thought they were doing something good for themselves. I take my out of the box knowledge I’ve learned over the years as a given that everyone knows, but learning that I’m so wrong! My hiking partner looks up things I talk about on our hikes, most of which, he’s never heard of. He thought sunscreen was a good thing, but he likes to be tan so doesn’t use it.

As we continued to pass our sunscreened hikers, I said “I have recurrent melanoma. I don’t use sunscreen anymore.” One of the women said “Good luck with that.”

It then occurred to me that they didn’t know the relationship between vitamin D deficiency and disease. After my first melanoma diagnosis, I was freaked out about allowing the sun to touch any part of my or my son’s skin. It continued until it spread to my liver, lymphatic system and the skin all over my body. My research flipped my beliefs. When I’m going to be in the sun for hours, I do wear sun protection clothing or sunscreen I make, because sunburns suck!image

Since there are still no medical treatments for recurrent metastatic melanoma that give better results than what I’ve done, I continue to be my own lab rat and experiment with what I learn.

I saw this article today and hope others will do their own research and do what’s best for them.

http://www.realfarmacy.com/scientists-blow-the-lid-on-cancer-sunscreen-myth/

I hoped we would run into the non-believers in the amazing benefits of the sun,  to explain my understanding, but they must’ve turned around. Their car was gone when we got back to the parking lot. The pharmaceutical and ‘food’ industries don’t want us to know we can live better without their chemical soups.

Love, gratitude and blessings

~Susan

 



Happy Father’s Day, Lake 22 and Cancer

My friend wanted to go hiking today, since both of our dads died 17 years ago and neither of us would be celebrating Father’s Day. George, the tumor on my chest (remember, we named him), went away and will be remembered by the scar tissue left behind. I’m working on it with my lotions, potions and magic (or prayer if that’s what you call it). Soon it will only be a memory.

This week, I’ve been having a lot of pain from a tumor on the bottom of my left foot, which felt like it was traveling up my leg. I’ve had both of them before, but for whatever reason, they must be afraid they’re going to miss out on something and have come back a few times. Last week I applied blood root black salve to both of them. The one on my foot reacted, but barely. I applied it again the next day. It definitely hurt more!  On Wednesday, the pain was so intense, I was pale and sweaty and didn’t know if I was going to puke or pass out. The pain was bearable without my shoes on, so I ended up standing and working 7 hours in my socks.  I’ve been making a concoction of DMSO, Magnesium oil and Lugol’s iodine and putting it on the recent scars several times daily. I also put it on the spot on my leg that didn’t react. It started burning immediately. Yesterday, I decided to reapply black salve. I felt it reacting – tingling,  as I was trying to go to sleep. I used Emotional Freedom Technique tapping and the pain resided within a couple minutes. I was just as lucky when I woke up this morning, except it looked awful!

Left Foot Owie

I decided I would try the hike. My friend knew about my explant surgery in March and the current cancer situation, but he was willing to go slow and wait for me or even turn around if I needed to. Both owies were bandaged and I was ready to spend the day in the forest, talking about our dads, the things we want to do with our lives, the qualities of the significant others we dream about…you know, the little things.

Lake 22 is on the Mountain Loop Highway in Granite Falls, WA. It’s one of the few hikes I haven’t done on Mtn Loop. The trail reports looked like it would be easy enough for me, in my current condition. It was 2.7 miles to the lake, another 1.1 miles around the lake and 2.7 back to the car. I figured if the pain got bad, I could turn around and wait at the car. Since the trail around the lake comes back to the same trail, I could’ve waited while he walked around. He disagreed with my ideas. He would have gone back with me if I needed to. That’s one of the qualities.

I didn’t feel either owie. Once we got to the lake, we stopped on the bridge to take pictures. Immediately, both owies started throbbing. We started moving again and headed around the lake. As long as I kept going, I didn’t feel them. As soon as we started going back, I realized that going downhill escalated the pain. It sucked, but the smells, the trees, the birds, the cute little mountain rodents, the waterfalls and navigating the rocks, creeks and tree roots lining the trail, kept me distracted. The pain and swelling seem to still be increasing since we finished the hike. It was my first hike since October. I’m feeling it now. I am so excited I accomplished it!

I am so happy and grateful I was able to hike 6.5 miles, only having to stop to breathe once and I’m still awake, sharing my adventure with you! I hurt all over, but it was worth it!

 

 

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I am so happy and grateful I was able to hike 6.5 miles, only having to stop to breathe once and I’m still awake, sharing my adventure with you! I hurt all over, but it was worth it!

Love, gratitude and blessings

~Susan



Celebration With Tears

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11 weeks post explant surgery
June 3, 2016, 10:24 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

It’s been 11 weeks since my explant surgery. Today on my way home,  I realized it was the warmest day we’ve had so far in June. OK, it’s only the third, maybe I was looking for an excuse to go to the beach. When I got home, I quickly loaded the kayak on the roof of the car, grabbed my oar and lifejacket, and off I went. Even though I was exhausted, I was determined to kayak north to the Boeing pier before turning around.  I had no idea how rough the water was going to be. It took almost an hour to get to the pier. Usually it only takes me 20 minutes. Reluctantly, I pulled my phone out to take some pictures.  I do it all the time when the water is calm, but today there were times I thought I would tip over. Sit on top kayaks are almost impossible to flip.

I kept hearing a sea lion.  I’ve seen them many times on my kayaking adventures, but not today. Every time I would hear it, I would turn to look and it had already sunk down under the water.  At one point, I heard a splash and when I looked over saw something I had never seen before. At first it looked like  A giant sea monster. Then I thought it was a 30 foot geoduck clam. I headed toward it.  Slowly. I wondered  if it was dangerous. As I got closer, I realized it was driftwood. It was a weird shape. Almost like a giant L.  I wondered if the splash I heard earlier, had been a sea lion or harbor seal riding the wood.

Yes, that’s where my head is at. Riding wood!

My last blog post was asking for help naming the tumor on my chest. There were several suggestions, but I decided to go with George. In the cartoon, the abominable snowman wants a bunny rabbit. He thinks Duffy duck is a bunny rabbit.  He says, I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him. In the end Daffy duck gets away. I never squeeze the tumors. That would hurt! Over the past few years,  I have done my best to love the cancer, ask it what it wants to teach me and attempt to listen and learn from it.  I haven’t actually heard anything from this one, but I’ve decided to name it George. I’m believing that my body is evicting George, now that it no longer has to fight the implants.

Kayak video

Please pray that George’s job is done and it can get out of my chest.  Thank you!

Love, gratitude and blessings ~Susan



Name the Blood Root Black Salved Tumor
June 2, 2016, 1:08 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Technically, since I haven’t had it biopsied, it may not be a tumor. It was so red and swollen last week, someone asked me if I was becoming Ironman. That would be cool!  I’ve had people suggest it could be a spider bite, a boil, a rash…in 2007, I even had an oncologist tell me it was shingles…a few minutes after she had told me the viral culture was negative. I was a bitch, asking her how stupid she thought I was, trying to tell me I had the Shingles virus after just telling me the lab test results showed that it wasn’t a virus. I wanted to drop a bunch of “F” bombs, but knew (okay, I didn’t know, but I felt) they were already judging me as a white trash, medicaid assisted idiot. People who feel they’re superior to others, usually act even more superior when the lowlies use “bad” words. I wanted them to help me, because I was afraid I couldn’t do it alone. Their lack of knowledge, outside of their box, but within the boundaries I had for my body, intensified my belief in myself and strengthened my ability to listen to my body and provide myself with the tools to keep living with whatever it was. On that note, I’ll call it an owie.

Help me name the owie! My son said it’s like I’m the shell and it’s a snail trying to get out.  I’m thankful it hasn’t started moving! I’m not sure what I’d do if it started moving and literally crawling out of my chest. Why do I have thoughts like that before going to bed? 

I’m planning a going away party for the thing on my chest that I black salved 11 days ago. It’s not coming out as fast as I’d like it to. Most of them are out 3-7 days after I apply the bloodroot black salve.

I called 2 people, asking if they’d videotape for me. Both were busy. I drove to the beach. I thought I’d go to my favorite bench and tape it myself.  **I’m sorry awesome guy and dog for forgetting your names! I’m sorry, I forgot his name! I stopped a cool guy walking at the beach and asked him to videotape for me. He was the first person I talked to. When he said “Life is Good” as we passed, I knew he was there to help me. I gave him a little background info and told him what I was going to talk about. He said he was okay with it, but the twisted look on his face when he taped, made it hard for me not to laugh. I guess most people haven’t seen what he was looking at.

Please help!!

Name the Tumor! Name the Tumor!

I want to sing For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow, Friends Forever, See You on the Other Side, I Will Remember You and other celebration songs to sing at a going away party!   Maybe if I celebrate it as it’s leaving, any others will surface for their celebration send offs too! I hope they’ve all taught me everything they were here for. Time to move on! I’m ready to learn less painful lessons!

Love, gratitude and blessings

~Susan