Susan WonderStone's Blog


More Connections
August 31, 2016, 12:53 am
Filed under: cancer, coaching, contact me, Death, Inspiration

 

You may say I’m a dreamer,  but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will be as one. John Lennon

When I had my first boyfriend, my mom told me to not spend so much time with him and to remember my friends. I didn’t have many friends, but the ones I did have, took a back seat to my new guy. He played football for the other high school in town, so if I went to a school function, it was a football game for my rival school. My two closest friends, became best friends with each other as I spent more and more time with “him”. It only lasted 4 months, but that was long enough to lose a good part of my best friendships. Not only did I lose him, I felt like I lost both of my best friends too. When I started dating my next boyfriend, I was in “Health Occupations”, a work co-op that allowed me to leave high school at lunch and work in a doctor’s office every afternoon. My co-workers were 10-40 years older than me. They weren’t my friends. My new guy also went to the other high school, so we usually spent time together instead of going to school functions at either school. He was a year ahead of me in school, so I planned ahead, took summer school and graduated early so I could go to college with him sooner.

When that relationship ended 15 years later, I had few friends. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.  Looking back, I wonder how different things would have been if I had friends and a support system of people, other than my family, who I didn’t want to talk to about how lonely I felt.

Last month, a young man texted acquaintances, saying he was going to kill everyone at a large party. He shot 4, killing 3 of them. One of them was his ex girlfriend. I wonder if he felt like I did when my first relationship ended. I wondered if he felt like I did when my second and my third relationships ended. Was he lonely, wondering how he’d accomplish anything, being in so much pain? I’ve read studies that say the emotional pain of a broken heart can be as painful as the physical pain of a broken bone. The loneliness I experienced wasn’t as intense as the pain I experienced and still do from when I broke my back, but probably close. I’ve often said the pain of a breakup is worse than cancer. Okay, that’s bullshit, but I have said it.  When my last relationship was coming to an end, the cancer exploded. I isolated myself again, but this time I was having intense physical pain. Not intentionally, but I started doing things with friends from my past. New connections formed. I joined meet up groups. I stayed in a hotel room with people I’d never met.  I drove long distance to meet a facebook friend. I took meditation classes and met more new people. I went to ecstatic dance classes and made connections without words. This time, the emotional pain was more like when I broke and dislocated my finger in 10th grade. I wanted to cry, and I did, but I still laughed enough to get yelled at in the emergency room.   It hurt! It throbbed for months whenever my heart rate would increase. I’d run anyway. I’d also find things to laugh about. Like with the broken bones I’ve had, the emotional pain from losses lasts long beyond the time everyone else even remembers it happened. Life doesn’t stop for emotional pain. Having connections to many people, made it easier to deal with. Many of the connections I’ve made, aren’t with people I’d spend a lot of time with, but our stories have helped each other.

Would the shooter have done what he did, if he had more genuine connections, than mostly those on social media? The more connected we feel to others, the easier it is to deal with whatever stresses, challenges or losses we experience. He doesn’t get a do-over. Our friends are gone.

We can learn so much from others without having to make our own mistakes! Every single person is unique! We all have our own set of gifts that nobody can do for us. We are here to do whatever it is we do. The lessons you’ve learned and gifts you’ve been given will help so many people! Why are you keeping them to yourself?

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I’m challenging you to meet at least one new person every week. Give them your contact information. If they give you theirs, BONUS!  What’s their story? You’ll either know someone or meet someone who’ll benefit from their story.We are all connected anyway, let’s figure out how!

Connect, Communicate & Celebrate Life!

 

Love, gratitude and blessings

~Susan



You’re only hurting yourself
February 22, 2014, 12:11 pm
Filed under: bodybuilding, coaching, contact me, fitness, health, Personal Training

I had a personal training client who wasn’t getting the results she should have been getting. I had seen her effort during her workouts, seen some of her additional cardio and gone over her food charts countless times, looking for reasons. She had a physical shortly before we started working together. Her doctor said everything looked great. She cried when we took her measurements because nothing had changed the way it should have. Nothing made sense.

I took it personally. It is important to me that my clients are progressing towards their goals. Personal training clients are striving towards mostly physical fitness goals, while my coaching clients are wanting to improve several areas of their lives and my cancer patient clients are all out fighting for their lives. For the cancer patients, they have more of a deadline than the others. Following a protocol is imperative because if it’s not working, it needs to be changed. Doing anything halfway won’t give you the feedback you need to add/take away/alter whatever it is you’re doing. Every moment counts.

Because I’ve been fighting for my own life for so long, I treat all my clients the same. Everyone is held accountable at a very high level. If tight accountability isn’t what someone wants, I’m not the coach for them. My ex used to tell me “Susan, they just want to go to work and talk about their trainer. Don’t worry about their results.” I never listened to him. I only want my clients talking about me if they’re getting results. If they’re not, it’s a waste of time for me and money for them. There are enough people who are willing to do the work…NOW!

Is that you? Are you ready for change and either don’t know how to do it or just need someone to be accountable to?

Back to the personal training client. It took twice. Once when I overheard someone telling her it was nice seeing her at the beach at Ivar’s on Sunday. A light bulb went off in my head, remembering her food chart entry of baked fish, small plain potato and cabbage (Hmmm – was it fried fish and chips and coleslaw? Ivar’s doesn’t serve plain cabbage)
The following week, I saw her at a restaurant eating fettuccine with excess alfredo sauce, cheese bread, more sourdough bread, followed by mud pie and a dish of ice cream.

As many people as I have coached and personal trained with great success, I felt stupid that I had been misled to think her lack of attaining her goal was my fault.

I continue to give all my clients the benefit of the doubt and do everything I can to help them achieve whatever goals they set. If you’re ready for change, call me to schedule a phone appointment and let’s get started. Today is the day!

Love, gratitude and blessings
~Susan
425-347-1424



2010 – Another chance to accomplish great things!
January 1, 2010, 2:46 pm
Filed under: cancer, coaching, contact me, health, Inspiration

“Terminal cancer” or any other “terminal” illness only means your doctor’s knowledge and ability to help has been terminated.  If you still want to be here, find another way.

If you find someone in a hole, tie a rope around a tree and throw the rope down to them.  Those who really want to get out will grab the rope and climb out of the hole.  If you’re in the hole, climb out while you still have the strength to do so.  There will come a time where there just isn’t anything left.

Jim Rohn said…When the end comes for you, let it find you conquering a new mountain, not sliding down an old one.

Les Brown talked about someone who said…We should be ashamed to die until we have made some major contribution to human kind.

What is your major contribution?  What will your next one be?

I have so much more to accomplish before I’m done circling the sun!  Make this year your best year yet!  Do great things!

Love, gratitude and blessings

Susan

Performance Health Coach…   Let me help you be your best…  Call 425-347-1424 to schedule your appiontment.



Contact me
May 21, 2007, 8:56 pm
Filed under: contact me

Contact me at 425-347-1424 9am-6pm

or susanwonderstone@yahoo.com